Day 16: Food is all around me...it's everywhere i go *singing*

The last time i was here was exactly a week ago and a lot has happened since then.

I had my second weigh-in yesterday and had lost only 1.4kg in 7 days....very disappointing considering i lost 5kg in the first week.  I have now lost a total of 6.4kg in 2 weeks and my target is to lose 20kg meaning i have 13.6kg to go.

Weekends are really bad for me.  I manage to stick to my diet very well during the week but weekends are a different story.  On Friday night, i went to hang out with some of my friends and couldn't resist having a shot or two of brandy.  By midnight i had hunger pangs and could not resist the suya that was placed in front me.  My goodness, that Suya tasted soo good.  I woke the next day and to my surprise i had lost 0.5kg and i was still in Ketosis.  Alcohol has that effect though because it makes you dehydrated and i was still in ketosis because i had the brandy straight without any mixers.

I vowed to be good for the rest of the weekend but then i had promised to make ogbono soup for a friend of mine.  After cooking what i consider to be the best ogbono soup i have ever made with pomo, shaki, cow leg, beef, stockfish, dry fish, isam, ngolo and snails with ginger, of course i had to taste it.  So i had a bowl of soup with a bit of everything in it.  I still have some of the soup in the freezer and it takes all the will power i have not to have some.  It is no wonder i have been feeling so lethargic lately.  Anyway, i felt i wasn't doing so badly since i hadn't had any carbs.

On Sunday, i had to attend my nephews baptism and i woke up that morning resolved not to cheat....AGAIN!  I had my first shake before i left the house and loaded up with water.  I was sure i was going to be strong enough to sit there, sipping my water whilst everybody around me tucked in.  To cut a long story short, by the time i left my sister's house, i had had moimoi, fish with some efo. As if that wasn't bad enough, my sister who recently discovered her baking skills forced me to have a slice of cheese cake and lemon cake.

Walking to my weigh-in yesterday i passed a woman selling boli (roasted unripe plantain) with fish.  On a regular day i would have stopped.  It is so rare to find boli and fish in Lagos.  I just looked straight on ahead and continued to my weigh-in thinking i can't wait to finish this diet.  So once i hit my target, boli and fish will be lunch (until i get tired of it) and i will be back at square one trying to lose 20kg again.

There is food everywhere you turn.  As i walked into the CWP Consultants office, i could smell something delicious.  Alas one of her staff was eating rice at his desk. As far as i am concerned that is taking the biscuit.  Of all places to be tempted!  I was going to complain but felt there was really no point.

After my weigh-in, i walked back to the office depressed but determined to do better.  Alas, my boss invites for me lunch.  In fact he didn't invite me for lunch.  He asked my colleague to join him for lunch and he politely declined saying he had already eaten.  What do i do?  I volunteer that i hadn't had lunch and he asked me to join him.  I ran to my office and downed a small bottle of water and grabbed a second bottle thinking that i would just sit with him, sip my water and use the opportunity to discuss some issues.  One look at the chicken and shrimp curry and i almost snatched the spoon from his hand to help myself.  So straight from my weigh-in i went and had chicken and shrimps.

Thank you Prince G for this hilarious
description of what i am feeling.

I ask myself, is it that i am just a really weak person? Or is it that i like food too much? Or maybe it is because it is not realistic to expect people not to eat anything but CWP soups, shakes and oats?  I have heard of people who have done this diet for months without cheating....is it really true that they don't cheat?  I love food! I love to cook! This diet is hell for me.

Like i said in an earlier post, it is a slippery slope.  Once you start to cheat, you won't stop.  I know the weight will still come off because i am eating soo much less than i was.  Even with all the cheating, i am probably still consuming less than 1000 calories a day.  But i am miserable.  I feel so tired all of the time because i am constantly battling myself about the things that i can't have or about the guilt i feel because i have cheated.  This is meant to be an empowering process but it doesn't feel that way anymore.  The first week was great but the second week has left me feeling sorry for myself.

I am not trying to discourage anyone.  I know other people on this diet are going through the same thing.  I am a member of a bbm group and other members of the group are constantly talking about the temptations the face.  It is really hard but the reality is nothing good comes easy.

I have a trip to Dubai planned for the New Year.  If i stick to the diet, i will be looking super hot in my holiday photos and the shopping will be out of this world.  Maybe i will even get that Chanel bag.  We'll see.....